Comparative+Essay

Comparitive Essay

As a admission officer I viewed all of the students applications in the setting as essay first .I believe the essay gives me the true back ground on the student it allows me to understand the challenges that they faced and the epihanys that they came across in their life, the moment of realization allow me to know when the student truly grew up. Also the essay gives me information on things I can't find on the transcript ,whether or not the students original language was english or family background. Recommendations are what I look at second the recommendation allows me to know what they teachers think of the student and how this student may be able to contribute to my school .The recommendation also allows me to see if whether or not the teacher is giving faint praise to the student just so the student can be satisfied. Faint praise is not something I recommend for a students application. Transcript are also very important .As an admission officer if there's anything I love it is an upward trend .I understand that as the first year of highschool is a big transition but if the students is not making progress by atleast the sophmore year then that shows just how dedicated the student is.The transcript also gives me the absences /latenesses .This shows whether or not the student was getting up on time and doing what they had to do to get a proper education. Also when a student is participating in challeneging classes this allows me to know the student was a hard worker and challenged him or her self. Activites are another big thing to an admission officer as my self because it allows me to know that this student was well involved also were they breadth or depth. I love students who are depth and leaders. It shows that they are commited to what they do and are willing to put in work. Lastly SAT's I am not a large fan of because one test can not truly determine what a student has done in four years .Growing up I have not been the best test taker and I would hate if someone judged me based on what I can do in one test then four years in time.

In reviewing Roman Polanco's essay I was not completely drawn in by the hook but I was fascinated by his ephiany .The moment of realization when he was dedicated to show up despite on a rainy day .This essay obviously took atleast two months not a few days. Roman allowed me to get to understand him as a character and the challenges he's faced. I really liked how Roman made sure to answer all of the questions also he was a hard worker, I know this because he became student ambassador at his school during his junior year. He wanted to promote events not only to help the students but to help the community as well. This says a lot about his leadership. I was really impressed with the recommendation that Romans teacher had submitted to me. It was very good. This shows that Roman was a trust worthy and a reliable student in and out of the classroom. Roman is also a leader. I know this because he helped organize and recruit students for a walkathon to raise money for breast cancer .This is a postive way to help the community. It also shows me that Roman is selfless. Roman participated in lots of activites such as Innovation Cares but he only stuck with this program through ninth grade. This shows that he was not truly commited to the program. That relates back to breadth over depth. Roman did work at a resturant to make a little cash for 18 hours a week. He worked his way up and began in the tenth grade.This shows that he waisted no time making it through right on his second year of High school .Romans transript allows me to get to know him on a academic level .Roman has an upward trend ,he started from 60's and 70's and worked his way up to 80's. Roman was not taking any honors classes which means he did not challenge himself at his full potential.Roman was late with a total of 100 times this shows that he did not take school that seriously, as he got older the number of latenesses and absences did decrease .Roman SAT scores were below avergae in CR and writing .Roman was only slightly above avergae when it came to math. While looking at his SAT scores I realize that they do not bring much prestige when it comes to applying for such an advanced school but i will take into considertaion the rest of his application.

When going over Jasmine Dukes transcript I realized that her grades were not as bad but I think she can do so much better. Her grades were 80's and 90's. Also when reviewing over her attendance in school I realized with only one lateness through out the four years of school is pretty good ,but her showing up to school was not pleasing did not show up for school for 12 days with no excuse .Which makes me question just how determined she really is and wether or not she can weather the storm. When reading Jasmines essay i was very dissapointed this is because the essay did not answer the real question which was "explain in detail things about your self that we will not be able to find when reading you transcript."Jasmine did not answer that question .Now had this been an essay on who helped you through and was there to support you as a role model then this would be perfect but this essay only gave us information on Jasmines mother .This essay seems as though it was not revised and is a sphagetti sauce essay .If there is anything that i enjoyed seeing when reading Jasmines essay it was that she was very depth over breath .Jasmine participated in a step program at CUNY college for four years this shows me she was very dedicated .Also Jasmine had major roles in her thetre program in this program she stayed for four years as well .This shows me that jasmine was a hard dedicated worker ot get major roles and was determined to survive throught the four years of the program. When readin =g the recommendation that Jasmine teacher had written this gave me more information about jasmine as oppose to her own essay .This allowed me to know what background she had grew up in ,which was a immigration family. The teacher mentions that Jasmine is a hard and a dedicated worker .Knowing also that jasmine would like to be a doctor when she gets older based on her out side activites her career makes since .This is because she was taking math and science programs. Jasmines SATS scores was not as i may have expected she was 50 below average .Her grade in reading was a 430 i think this grade could have been much higher .Lastly in east harlem Jasmine is below average.

When reading Willam Santos transcript i was not impressed in his lateness .Wiliam was absent over 50 times that is unexceptable and says alot about his dedication to his school and his work .There was one thing i was impressed which was how William had a upward trend. .Also he was involved in advance classes as well .As fro going over his essay there was no hook .This was a sphagetti sauce esssay if i have ever seen one .This essay consist of no epiphany .Also this essay does no show how william has grown .William is not a very commited student he is more breath over depth .William participated in a dramma club for only one year .He also was on the soccer team for only one year .He was not commited and dedicated to what he decided to do in life. As for the recommendation that Willams teacher had written there is no real specific example of William that we couldnt fine on his transcript .This is because she mentioned the SAT's scores which we already have acsses to seeing .Also there is no evidence on how he contributes to the class room and is a leader.Despite Williams attendance in school if theres anything that i enjoyed seeing it was his SAT scores .William is above avergae in critical reading .Also William is above average on his writing.

While reviewing Kaylahs transcript i noticed the grades were not bad but they were not great as well .Kaylah grades rank in the average between 70's and 80's.I was impressed by Kaylahs attendance she was absent one time and has never been late.Also Kaylah does have an upward trend which means she begin to get her life together and started to take school more seriously. Kaylahs essay does answer the actual question which is to explain to us something about your self that we would not be able to fine when reading you transcript .Kaylah gives us the epihany. Kaylah allows us to know that her family had a finacial struggle .Also she explains how she was a hard worker and selfless.Kaylah expresses that after her aunt lost her job she found a near by job at Dunkin Donuts,where she worked a five hour shift.Despite the fact that she never truly had anytime to her self and to meet new people and friends she still stayed strong through it all. Kaylah was breath over depth .The reason isa y this is because Kaylah only participated in the jamming cares club for one year .Also se only walked her brother to school for two years .Nore was kaylah a leader and founder of any of these programs. When reviewing Kaylahs recommendation i noticed that there was no faint praise given. Also the teacher allows me to know that Kaylah is a determined student who challenges herself by taking higher level courses when ever possible. Also the recommendation allows me to understand that Kaylah had to work even harder despite she was not born in the U.S.A and only new a bit of english when she first enrolled into the school .Kaylah also does not make excuses for her self despite working on the job and helping out in the school. Kaylahs average on ehr SAT scores were 520 .She recived high grades that are slightly above average .Kaylah also was well prepared.

As a result when it comes down to choosing the perfect student to be enrolled into my school I would have to go with Kaylah Serrano .The reason that i choose Kaylah is because i can tell she is a dedicated and hard worker. despite she is not a leader in any after school programs because she was working at the dunkin donuts job ,this does not effect what she does inside of the school .I enjoy a student who is dedicated and a hard worker. knowing that Kaylah pushed her self to her fullest even though she was not originally an english speaking person she came to the U.S and did what she had to do to become something in life .kaylah also was a dedicated student and seripus about her education. Isay this because Kaylah made sure to come to school everyday on time except one day she was absent and knowing that kaylah had to take her brother to school everymornign for two years this is very impressive to me .Kaylah is the perfect canadate for our school she is not only selfless but i believe she will lead this school on to great things do to her determination and her selflessness. Kaylah will make great progress in this school and i am honored to have her.