Comparative+Essay.

Comparative Essay
====As an admission officer I know what I would like to see in a student application. I would look for a Student with a strong. I would look for a well written juicy detailed essay. Following would be a strong bold recommendation letter.This would help me see how the student interacts in a learning environment. I personally would love to see a strong student who has had many extracurricular activities in which they have participated in. I don't really pay mind to the SAT's because they dont show what kind of person the student is throughout four years.====

====First i reviewed Jasmine dukes transcript. I was astonished by her excellent grades she had an upward trend.which stood strong and healthy throughout 9-12 grades .Jasmine amazed me because she never took challenging classes throughout her years of high school.Shes a really strong student with excellent grades but with the grades she was getting she should of at least tried to take honor classes or college level classes in 11- 12 grade. Jasmines essay was most disappointing because she never answered the question. It was never about her, we learned more about her mother and her life then Jasmines. It didn't look like she put alot of effort into it it was completely off topic.Jasmine was amazing outside of school. Her outside life was excellent. She was into her Drama club the whole four years and stood committed as well. She did knitting,chior for church and a scripture reader. Her work experience was good. Jasmine work as A babysitter in 10 grade from january to june. She also worked as a tour guide from summer 11 grade into 12 grade.I didnt put alot of attetion to her SAT's scores, they were low excluding her amazing grades====

====Roman Polanco Grades werent as great. He had most 60-70 in Freshman and Sophmore year but he had an upward trend into the 80s/90s in Junior and senior year.That really impressed me because it shows that he is an hard working student who puts effort into his work. He was late and absent to many times. I understood he didnt take any honor courses with his grades but they started to improve so he shouldv'e tried. Roman did excellent on his SAT's above average as well. He had a math and a science weakness in school but an English strength. His essay never answered the real question. It had to many details that didnt even descirbe him, but he had an excellent strong hook. it was realistic and made me feel as if i was there. It was a amazing story but it was off topic. It barely had an grammar or spelling mistakes. Roman did alot of clubs and programs. He was Student Ambassador all four years he became the leader of the Ambassadors club in 12 grades which really impressed me becaus eit showe dthat he put effort and hard work into it. He was also a member in the Debate Club for junior and senior year. He was in the Portuguese club and Innovation cares in 9th and 10th. His Community activities were amazing. Even though it wasn't alot it was enviormental and friendly. He did the soup kitchen in ninth grade and central park clean up which really showed he cleans and cares for his community. His work experience astonished me. He was a busboy in 10 grade and throughout the years he was rewarded chaier then waiter. That shows that he stood with something and put in effort to improve.====

====In Kaylah Serrano transcript her grades were prettty average. I noticed she had a strength in Math and Spanish but a weakness in English. Kaylah was so outstanding in these two subjects that she got excellent test score in math and spanish. She even took honors and college level courses for them. Kaylah's essay was average it expalined about her emotions that i wouldve never known by talking to her.She really struggled moving here from another country and supporting her family. It talked about her challenges but it doesnt have an epiphany or a strong hook.Her recommendation letter was strong,it had juicy details about her and showed she put in effort. Her activities disappointed me .She wasnt into them as much as hoped. She only participated in one club and one community activity. Her work activity was oaky but it didnt excite me. She worked in dukin donuts in senior year as a counter server to support her family. Her SAT's scores were expected. Knowing that english wasnt a strength i believe that they were better the second time. Her math scores were above average since herr math grades are amazing. Her writing scores are okay since knowing she struggled.====

====William santos transcript was horrible. He had only sixty's and seventy but his upward trend was suprising. It showe dthta he really tried to put in effort his junior and senior year. He has been absent and late too many times but it didnt explain why so i can't judge him. His standerized test scores were outstanding and amazing because they were so high compared to his grades. His activities were great too. He was in the drama club in ninth grade, the JV soccer team in ninth grade also the founder of the comic magazine in 12 grade and comic book and film appreciation in ninth and tenth grade.His home chores weren't to exciting because he took care of his dog from ninth through twelfth grade. His job experience were good. He was a stock boy at a hardware in 11 grade from October to June and a Ticket sales person in AMC theater from twelfth grade to now. His personal statement was horrible. It had no hook of epiphany and it was too short. His recommendation letter was okay. It had a okay hook but epiphany it was too short and quick. His SAT's scores were amazing and above average. He did excellent .====

====In my opinion Jasmine Duke was my favorite candidate. She was because her grades were outstanding and she put so much effort into school. She was barley absent or late. Even though she had a weakness in English she had managed to do good in the standardized test with eighties and seventies. her SAT's didn't bother me because they aren't really a deal breaker. Her activities showed me she was committed and strong in her clubs jobs, and programs. Even though her personal statement wasn't the best her recommendation letter was strong and showed pride. She is a candidate i know will succced if you would except her to your college. She is hard working determined and a strong student.====