bryan+daffin+comparative+essay

As an admissions officer, I know what i'm looking for in a student. I love to see a good transcript followed by a good essay, transcripts are important to me because its shows me how the student did all four years of high school. The essay is also important to me because it should tell me something that the transcript wouldn't. Recommendations comes next because it tells me what the teacher thinks about you and what he/she saw in you, activities are not that important to me it just shows me , what you participated in and if your a leader or not. lastly, I look at the students SAT scores, I look at SAT's last because I don't put a lot of emphasis on the SAT's because everybody is not the greatest at test taking.

While reviewing Roman Polanco's application the one thing I admired was his upward trend junior and senior year. He didn't start off to a good freshmen and sophomore year but I saw a big change and improvement. This made me understand why his attendance and lateness record looked so poorly but got better senior year when his grade were the highest. This shows me that roman didn't care freshmen year but as he got older and more mature he started to care about his future. I also can see what his teacher meant when she said Roman was a late bloomer.

I really enjoyed Roman's essay, it had a strong hook and it interested me. The part that interested me the most was when he talked about how he help promote a breast cancer awareness walk, and people still came even though the weather was nasty. Roman's essay was well written and also had no spelling or grammar mistakes. Roman's recommendation letter clearly shows that he's a leader and was a trustworthy student.

Roman participated in three different actives his four years of high school, innovation cares, student ambassador , and also working at a restaurant. Roman shows me he can still be a leader because one of those actives he participated in was student ambassadors. Roman worked his was up to becoming the lead ambassador in his senior year. Roman showed me he can commit to one thing and stick to it, while still working at a restaurant outside of school. Roman's SAT scores was not so good, he was slightly blow average in all three sections but SAT's is not a big deal to me because it's a lot of pressure.

The nest applicant was Jasmine Duke. Looking at Jasmine Duke's transcript I was highly impressed with her grades. Jasmine kept her self on top of her grades from 9th- 12th grade with A's and B's. Jasmine attendance wasn't bad but it could have been better. In addition, she was absent 12 times and late once. Jasmine is obviously a strong student. I notice Jasmine was strong in science and her weakness was in E.L.A. Jasmine passed all her regents with a 70 or better. With her grades I think she should of participated in honors or college level courses her senior year.

I was very disappointment with Jasmine's essay. She told us more about her mother than she did herself. Jasmine's essay never really answered the "real question", it didn't have a good hook and also didn't have a epiphany. Jasmine essay still doesn't tell us something that we don't know about her. From reading this essay I can tell it didn't take jasmine that long to write this, and looking at her transcript I can tell she is much more capable of doing better.

I like what I saw in Jasmine's outside actives. Jasmine was committed to the two programs she participated in which was her STEP program and the drama club. Jasmine was loyal to her programs and I saw a leader in jasmine because she was in two programs and she didn't give up she was committed all four years. Jasmine also was in the church choir and held jobs babysitting. Jasmine SAT scores were particularly low considering how high her grades were in class.

The next applicant is William Santos. William Santos's transcript wasn't so good 9th-11th grade, but I did notice a upward trend senior year. William's essay was disappointing. He didn't answer the "real question", it had no hook, it had no epiphany and also didn't have a before and after. William doesn't show me he's grown at all since 9th grade besides his upward trend his last year of high school. Williams recommendation letter tried to sound good but it came off as fake because his transcript and his essay clearly shows he didn't put a lot of effort into what he did.

William participated in four different actives his four years of high school. William passed his SAT's with a 600 or better in all three sections. He also passed all his regents 85 or better, so it shows me William was a bright student but didn't put his all into education.

the last applicant is Kaylah Serrano. Looking at Kaylah Serrano's Application I saw something that I didn't see in the other three candidates. She passed all her classes in all terms of all four years of high school. Kaylah almost had perfect attendance all four years of high school, she had zero lateness and one absence. I notice Kaylah was strong in math and spanish and her weakness was in global history. Kaylah also passed all her regents with a 65 or better.

I really enjoyed reading Kaylah's essay, It told me a lot about her that the transcript wouldn't. She had a hook, she does answered the "real question", it does have a before and after and it also show's me she has grown by adjusting to her new life. Kayla shows me she's a leader and an independent woman that can take care of herself. Kaylah's essay was well written, and had no spelling and grammar mistakes. The recommendation letter did a nice job of telling me why kaylah's struggled in certain areas.

Kaylah worked 25 hours a week at Duckin' Donuts to help support her family. Lastly her SAT scores were what I would expect from what I learned about her from her essay and recommendation latter. She struggled in the Critical Reading and Writing portions and did slightly above average in Math.

In my opinion I believe Roman Polanco's the strongest candidate for me and my choice. The upward trend on his transcript shows me he knows what he have to do to become successful in life. Combine this with his strong essay, recommendation letter and deep commitment to the activities that he participated in makes him a student that i would welcome into my college.