Marianda+Rivera+admission+essay

=== //As an admission officer the Essay should go before everything because I find it to be more important than all the other components. I think is important to me because the essay shows how the person write and the essay is what could bring you inside the college that you are trying to get into. The essay that I liked the most was Kayla’s she did very great in it I give it five stars She can certainly make it to the college she want with that essay of hers. Then secondly I think that the S.A.T.s should go because it's also important to me and it talks about your regent’s scores. The grades are very important to know about that’s what tells you if you failing or passing, and you really do need to know if you failing or passing that’s the only way to make it to college passing high school. If there was no such thing as S.A.Ts we would not know how we did on our regents. Thirdly I think that Recommendations should go after the S.A.T.s because the teacher shows how she feels about the student and I would like to know someone else’s opinion about the person I would like to know how they feel about the person to see if they could try to switch up my mind on what I think the person is about. What I think should go fourth is the Transcript. The Transcript is about the scores you got in each class is like the report card and the attendance you could see how many times you where late or absent to school, all that is important. And finally what I think should go fifth is the Activities. I thought that activities should go last because it doesn’t feel that important to me. The activities are just about what you did or still doing in life, it also talks about the jobs they got or did or even the choirs to do at home like cleaning or taking care of a families dog.. And it also talks about the different activities you can do now or to do in college. Acting is one of the activities I want to do in high school and college and I want to start young and be on television and just become a famous movie star.// === ===// I was reviewing William Santos Official High School Transcript I noticed that he had terrible grades in the 9th, 10th, and 11th grade but he did a much better job in the 12th grade so he stepped his game up at the end. His average was like 80's and 90's in the 12th grade. In the 9th, 10th, and 11th grade he had majorly 60's and less 70's and that’s horrible it did not look good at all. I looked at his attendance it was also horrible and that could be the reason why he has all those low grades. His attendance in the 9th grade to school was 33 times late to school and his absences to school were 25 times that’s horrible. In the 10th grade his attendance was also bad, late to school 40 times and absent 32 times it was much worse than the 9th grade attendance so he did better in the 10th grade year. Than in the 11th grade his lateness was 45 times and the absences were 23 times still worse than the 9th grade but better then the 10th grade attendance. Finally the 12th grade attendance 75 times late to school and 20 absents. It was still horrible I hate his attendance he been absent too much and been to school late way to much he should have worked on his attendance but it’s too late he already did 12th grade had bad attendance in 12th grade but had the best scores 80's and 90's out of all the other grades that I included. When I read Williams essay I thought that he was a “jerk” he only wrote 4 //// sentences saying that he will be heading to college and that he know he did a bad job but he will do better in college and not like he did in high school. I really didn’t like what he wrote; he wrote "the work in high school is boring. I feel like I know everything already and have not been challenged." When I read that part I’m sure that when the teacher read that part she knew this kid would not be good enough in college. William seemed to do Activities through high school. In the 9th grade he did Drama club, he played "Bubble" in the play "Oliver”. He also joined a soccer team so he was athletic. The 10th grade he did not join anything but in the 10th grade he did again, he joined Film Appreciation "I would love to try that" and then in the 12th grade he did 2 other activities it was the "Inno-Zine (Comic Magazine about a super innovator" and the 2nd one he joined in the 12th grade was the "Comic Book Club." He did do a community/home activity it was to take care of a family’s dog. What he had to do to the dog was walk it, feed it, and clean up after it he did it from the 9th till 12th grade and now that he is going to college he won’t be able to take care of it so the family would have to find someone else to take care of the dog. He had a job for the 11th and 12th grade he was an employer at the AMC Movie Theater, Union Square in the 12th grade and was a Fanta's Hardware. He was a Stock boy for the job of being a //// Fanta's Hardware and was a Ticket Salesperson at the AMC Movie Theater, Union Square. I found out that the reason why his attendance was bad was just because he been working during school he did 12 hours a week from being a Stock boy and 18 hours a week during school and 35 during the summer from sailing tickets at the movie theater. October- June he worked as a stock Boy. And in the 12th grade June-present he worked for the AMC Movie Theater, Union Square. In the 11th grade, whatever teacher wrote that Recommendation I disagree with her because he did a horrible job but the part that I agree with the teacher is with the S.A.Ts he did very well in it. He had 80's and 90’s I was very shocked by his regents scores he really passed that When I saw Williams S.A.Ts I thought that he did very great he past the regents with great scores I think that he can make it to a college with those grade he had on the regents. His essay did not have more than 500 word. //=== // **-** //

===// I was reviewing Jasmine Duke Official High School Transcript I noticed that she had beautiful grades in each grade of high school. Her averages were 80's and 90's for each year of high school that’s great. I looked at her attendance it was great in the 9th grade she had Zero lateness and 2 absences. The 10th grade she had 1 lateness and 3 absences her attendance was still better in the 9th grade. The 11th grade she had Zero lateness but 4 absences. Finally in the 12th grade she had Zero lateness but 3 absences. Her attendance was way better then Williams his was horrible. I think that Jasmine’s attendance is great. When I read Jasmine's essay it wasn’t very impressing as her grades but her essay was "alright" it could have been better. All she wrote about was her mother I really wanted to know about her and not her mother but the only thing I liked that she wrote in her essay was "when I grow up, I want to do well to make my mother proud." That was the only thing I thought was provocative in her essay. Jasmine seemed to join activities in high school. For the entire years of being in high school she was a member in a Step Program (CUNY) for 9th, 10th, 11th, and the 12th grade. So she must really know how to step "very nice." The other activities she did for the entire high school years of being in the 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade was join the Drama Club, major roles in Into the Woods, Macbeth, Little Shop of Horrors, and finally Title role in Annie. She also joined a club of knitting with Claire Club only in the 11th and 12th grade "hmmmm I wander why she didn’t join it in the 9th and 10th grade." Jasmine also did some Community/Home Activities she did church choirs for 9th, 10th, and 11th grade but not in the 12th grade. She did Scripture Reader only for the 11th and 12th grade but not for the 9th or 10th grade. She worked as an employer to Lawrence and Darby Jett. Her position was to be a babysitter the hours she worked was approx. 10. The grade she did this job was in the 10th grade January- June. She also had another job; she was an employer as an Internship, Children's Museum for Science. Her Position was Junior Tour Guide the hours she worked per week was 30 hours. The length of time was in the summer, 11th grade going into 12th grade so she did work during school days. Jasmine Recommendation from the teacher was nice it seems like she enjoyed her essay that was just about her mom that works hard. But I didn’t know that she wanted to be a doctor that was very interesting and the teacher wrote that she is doing very well in math and science, and she really is doing the best in those two subjects. Jasmine S.A.T.s is okay they not perfect but she could have done better in her regent’s score. The highest average was an 85 and that was for living environment the rest of the regents scores where under and 85 and above are the grade you are suppose to be getting in order to have a very nice grade. Jasmine essay did not have more than 500 words she like 300 words in her essay. //===

===// I //// was reviewing Kayla Serrano Official High School Transcript I noticed that the grades where fine but she could have done better with the 70's she had I wasn’t so happy with those. But when I looked in her attendance it was almost perfect it was just that 1 absent she had in the 10th grade the rest of the grade with the attendance was just perfect she had zero lateness’s and zero absences. I just think that Kayla had the best attendance out of all the other students and that is great I bet if she was in my school she would win the award of perfect attendance. When I read Kayla’s essay and I thought it was great it was not a spaghetti essay it was perfect I read it and enjoyed it. The story really talked about her life living in New York but was from Nicaragua. I thought that this was perfect she couldn’t done better it was perfect to me, I loved the story. Kayla Serrano seemed to do not that much activities in high school after that essay I read it sounds like she don’t really have time to be doing activities in high school that could be the reason why she only did 1 activity in high school and got 1 job to help pay the rent and get food just to help and support her family she loves. But the activities she joined were a club Jamming Cares Club and she only did it for the 9th grade. So Kayla did a Community/Home Activity it was to walk her younger brother to school each morning she did that only in the 9th and 10th grade. Her job was to work at Dunkin' Donuts her position was to work as a Counter Server for 20 hours a week she worked in Dunkin' Donuts in 12th grade only January-present. I think that Kayla’s Recommendation from the teacher seem like it was the best one out of all to the teacher I think she enjoyed Kayla’s essay the most out of all the other students she wrote five paragraphs to her and she wrote from what came from her heart just for Kayla and it all made sense to me. She is going to do great in college and I’m sure that the teacher that wrote this would agree with me that she will do great in whatever college she is going to be in. Kayla’s S.A.Ts where very great but when I saw her regents scores for English and Living Environment they were in the 60's so that made me think that she might struggle in college with the scores that she got on her regents she should have done better like she did on her essay about her life. Kayla had more than 500 words. //===

===// I was reviewing Roman Polanco Official High School Transcript but I noticed he did the best in 12th grade he had 85's-90's but when I saw his attendance it was like he should’ve never come to school his attendance was horrible just like his 9th grade school year. In the 9th grade he had 42 likenesses and 25 absences, the 10th grade he had 33 lateness’s and 15 absences, 11th grade he had 22 lateness’s and 10 absences, and finally 12th grade he had 12 lateness’s and 5 absences. That sounds horrible to me I hated his attendance. "I’m moving on I don’t even want to talk about his attendance it got me upset." When I read Roman essay it was so boring that I wanted to stop reading it while I was reading it, it was like a boy was just mumbling a story for no reason that no one cared about. It made me want to go to sleep that was like the most boringness story that I read in my whole entire life. When I read a story I want it to make sense so I think that was a spaghetti messy essay. He could have done better and just by reading the story you could tell that he rushed or made it up too a way no one understands. I checked to see if Roman joined any activities and he did which is great I rather see that he participated in an activity then reading his boring story. So he joined four different activities and these where the activities that he joined Student Ambassadors and was a member for the 9th, 10th, 11th, and became a lead ambassador at the 12th grade. He joined a club called the Debate club; he only joined it at the 11th and 12th grade and was just a member of the club. The other club that he joined was the "Ajude Me ! Portuguese Club with Esther and him only joined that club in the 10th grade. The other club he joined for 9th grade was Innovation Cares Club. For Community/Home Activities he only did in the 9th grade he joined Soup Kitchen Volunteer (Innovation Cares) and the other choir he did was to clean up Central Park with (Innovation Cares). Roman worked in a restaurant called "Julio Franco's El Rican Restaurant and Taco Shop". His poison was to busboy, cashier, and be the waiter in the Restaurant. The house he worked in a week was 18 every week. He started this job from the 10th grade-present. When I read Roman Recommendations it seems like the teacher liked him allot and that he was a very caring person that did many great things for his life and others. And he was a much focused student in class and outside the class also. So he seem like he could do very well in college now that I read the Recommendation from the teacher that wrote good things about him. Roman S.A.Ts are ok but could have done better he did the worse in the global regents test he got an average of 79 and did the best job on the Intergraded Algebra which is math his average was an 88. He could have done better but he had more letters than 500. //=== ===**// In Conclusion, I think the best one to me was Kyla’s yes her story was very long but I read it and enjoyed it. She had the best attendance out of all the other students and the best essay. She did very well the college that she want will accept her unless they already did. The one that did the worse in high school was William his attendance was horrible and his grades were horrible but I really don’t know how his regents scores are very high he did great in those. I’m going to try my best to get to the college that I want and no it’s not going to be in New York City. I want to travel and have fun. And just get my education on time so I can be happier. And that’s what I see what William and Kyla is trying to do finish college on time to live the life that you dreamed of since you ever dreamed of it. //**===