Jabar+Tooley Admission essay

As a new admission officer I know the standards of a good student application. The most important to me is recommendations and their transcript. I would like to know how hard-working the student and what type of leader he or she is. Also I want to know is what there strongest subject is, that's where the transcript come in. The most thing I like to see is if this student has a upward trend or stayed consistent with grades. That shows me a students maturity level is. Third what I like to see is there essay, I want a very strong essay that answers the question (who are you?). As far as activities go I love when young kids do something positive in there life. Like community work or have a job, or play sports. S.A.T's I worry little about because if there is a student that not from this country test may be bias.

Now I was looking at Roman Polanco application and he okay but not the best. I'm reading his recommendation and it's very well, it tells me that he is a very good leader. Also I read that he works very hard and he's eager to take his self to the next level. Roman is also a late bloomer so that tells me he struggle in the first, but now understands what he needs to accomplish. One thing that bothers me is Roman Polanco transcript. In his freshman year he had way too many absences and lateness's. On top of that is that his grades were unacceptable, he was just barely passing his classes. In his sophomore year his grades went up a little bit and his absences and his lateness went down. During his senior year he really pick it up and started to get the 80's and 90's. It seems to me that Roman a upward trend and maturity build up during the years. I was reading Roman Polanco essay and it is well written. It tell me who he is and it answer the real question. When he writes he tells me how he grown and did breast cancer for his community.

Also about Roman essay is that it is too long. His essay is way above five hundreds words and too much for me to read. I like that one of his actives was a student ambassador. I love that he stayed very consistent over four years as that. This shows me that Roman is not also a great leader but his consistency level is amazing. He has community work doing innovation cares for helping cleaning up central park and volunteering working in the kitchen. In 10th grade he work as a busboy, a cashier, and as a waiter, So he had a lot to do during the day and kept his is self positive and occupied. On to his SAT's they were not the best. His grades was slightly below the regular average. His critical reading was 480, math was 510, and his writing was a 490.

Looking at William Santos application an he did okay on it. On his recommendation is it did not tell me anything about him. The only I'm seeing is he had good SAT's scores. Also it doesn't tell me what his strength or his weakness and it has "faint praise". On William Santos transcript his grades was not that good. Mostly 60's/70's all year and just a few 80's and 90's. Not only that is grades is not very well but he has way too many absences and lateness's. Has no upward trend, but except for 12th grade when it went up slightly. He has an unacceptable essay tell me nothing about him. Way below a set of 500 words and it has no hook. When William Santos says "the work in high school is boring" this tells me he's not ready to be a college student. He's just be a lazy student and want to accomplish nothing. For his activity sheet Santos has been in alot of clubs/programs. But he didn't stay consistent with any of them. Home/community activities he really haven't done anything but take care of dog and clean which is normal. His work experience in 11th grade he worked at Fanta's Hardware as a stock boy and then 12th he work at AMC movie theater as a ticket sales person. William Santos SAT's scores was very good because he past the average grade by 100. He had a 600 in critical reading, 620 in math, and 650 in writing very good.

Jasmine Duke application letter is very good I like it. During Jasmine's recommendation letter it tell almost everything I needed to know about her. Tells me that she is extremely hard-working and is very consistent. Her strongest subject is math and science which makes sense because she past them with high grades. Her transcript is excellent to me because she maintain a consistent grade of 80's/90's all four years. Also it makes since because she always past her two strongest subjects with high grades. I really didn't like Jasmine Duke essay because it have nothing to tell me about her. On her essay it talk mostly all about her mother, so it doesn't answer the real question. The essay has no type of hook and has no epiphany. Jasmine Duke activity sheet I see that she apply herself to many clubs/programs. She's been in drama club for a consistently of four years. Community/home activities Jasmine has been in church choir for scripture reading. Her work experience she work at Lawrence and Darby Jett as a babysitter. Also had an internship for Children's Museum for Science. I learned that Jasmine's SAT's scores were very well. She had a 600 in critical reading, 620 in math, and a 650 in Writing which is very good.

At last Kaylah Serrano, her recommendation letter is very well written. This letter tells me her strengths and her goals that she want to accomplish. The letter say' s that her strongest subject is math and science which her grades are good. Also that she exceed's hard to past her classes. On her transcript she had a upward trend. She started out with 70's and a few 80's/90's. Kaylah has amazing attendance only be absence once for four years, that's really great. Her essay was really good at the beginning it had a really good hook. She actually brought me into her story. It tells how her life been a little struggle coming from a different country, trying to learn a whole new language. Really has no type of activities on her sheet. Clubs/programs been in jamming club only for one year. Community/home only walks her brother to school each morning. Kaylah also had a job working at dunking donuts as a counter server. Kaylah didn't really do so well on her SAT's, but in is understandable. In critical reading she has 400, had a 520 in math, and a 450 in Writing.