Walker+Kennedy+Admissions+Essay

Walker Kennedy

As an admissions officer I put the T.E.A.R.S in the following order. The essay is the most important to me because it tells me how well written the student applying is. Transcript is second because what a student has done for all four years of high school really says something about them. Recommendations are next because I like to see what a teacher says about you and if they give you real praise. Activities are next because I like to see what activities the students are interested in. The S.A.T's are last because they might be biased toward a specific group of students and what the student has done in four years are more important.

As I reviewed Roman Polanco I was surprised to see his grades being so low. Although I was very happy to see that he had an upward trend in all of his classes. That showed he was able to pick up his act and knew that if that continued he would not get into a good college. His lateness and absence were a red flag for me because that makes me think he just didn't want to show up. He picked up his attendance during the 12th grade, which means he was aware of himself being in danger. His regents tests were good but could have been better especially in global. Roman's essay was outstanding. It was such a great story, he described it with such detail and it was great overall. The essay didn't talk about him as much as it did the race. This essay is also well over 500 words which isn't that good but i will excuse it.

Jasmine Duke is an amazing student, she got mostly 80's and 90's on her transcript. She didn't miss much days and was only late one day in all four years of high school. Her regents scores were average. She had an upward trend in 11th grade for most of her classes. Jasmine's essay was about her mom which is what it should not be. This essay has no hook of any kind. This essay talks so much about Jasmine's mom maybe we should admit her into this college. Her activities were amazing. She was in the STEP program at Baruch College and did it for all four years of high school. Sadly she was not the leader of any clubs. She had a job as a junior tour guide and a babysitter. This recommendation letter says good things about her character and citizenship because it says Jasmine;s mom was a single parent and how hard their life was. There isn't much to say about the S.A.T scores because to me they aren't that important. But her S.A.T scores were slightly below average.

William Santos had a pretty much scattered transcript. His grades overall were not that good, I feel he could have done much better. His absence and lateness are a big issue for me. He seems to get progressively more absent and late every year. He took an advanced math class in 11th grade. William Santos had a horrendous essay. He has no hook whatsoever. His essay was the shortest essay I have ever seen and we specifically asked for **500** words and this was about 50-60 words. William's activities are bad because he never stuck with anything for more than a year. He was the founder of the inno-zine in 12th grade. His letter of recommendation had faint praise. His S.A.T scores were above average and that surprised me because his grades on his transcript were bad.

Kayla Serrano was my favorite applicant out of these four because she had the best qualities of all of them. She had an upward trend in all four years of high school in most of her classes. Kayla was only absent one day of all four years of high school. Some of her regents scores were a little disappointing except for her math scores which were outstanding. Kayla's essay was very touching and it explained why some of her scores were a little lower than others. Her essay had a great hook, it made me want to read the whole thing twice. Her epiphany was she thought high school in New York was going to be hard but she realized it was better then she thought. Sadly Kayla had not stuck with anything for more than 3 years which was disappointing. She had a job at Dunkin' Donuts from the time she was in 12th grade to now. The counselor was really sticking up for by explaining why her english grades were not as good as some others. Her recommendation had real praise. Her S.A.T scores were below average except for math which was a little above average which makes sense because math was her strong suit.

After evaluating all four applicants I have come to a decision. I would like to grant admission to Kayla Serrano. The reason I chose Kayla is because she was the most impressive and stood out the most to me because her grades overall to me were very impressive. Also her essay was very touching and I feel she will make a good addition to my college. As I said before the essay is very important to me because I like to see how well written the student is.