Amanda+Garcia+Admissions+Essay

As an admissions officer I know what a student needs to become a student at my college. To become a student in my college you need to have fairly good grades and attendance must be good as well. As a follow up I would like a very thorough recommendation to back up the good grades and attendance. You MUST have a well-written essay that makes sense so I can be more interested in you. I don't take SAT scores too serious but at the same times it shows how well you know what you've been taught throughout the year. I want to see how open-minded a student is based on the activities they took place in during their 4 years in high school.

When reviewing Kaylah Serrano's Transcript I noticed that she had excellent grades. She started with high 70's low 80's and went up to high 80's low 90's. To make it even better she always made it to school and on time. Meaning her attendance was excellent as well which made me more interested in what she was about. When I looked at her Recommendation it looked as if the teacher who wrote this recommendation for her really favored her and believed she is very bright and is very successful. This also made me wanna look into her a little more. Her essay was well-written she told how she started to think of college and how she came about her plans for college. Her SAT scores were okay she passed with all low scores. She also didn't take too much on activities. She was in the Jamming Cares Club for 9th grade only. She also walked her younger brother to school each morning for 9th and 10th grade and she worked at Dunkin' Donuts as a Counter Server 20 hours a week for 12th grade. I would have liked to see better SAT scores and seen her involved in more activities.

In looking at William Santos Transcript I noticed that his grades were not so good but he picked them up in his senior year. For Freshman,Sophomore, and Junior year he stood with high 60's low 70's. Also his absences and lateness were not good he barely made it to school and if he did go he was not on time. This was not good at all so I looked at his Recommendation letter next. The Recommendation was okay and it shows that he is actually a good student and strives for something but does not equal to his transcript so I wanted to see more. I wanted to see how well-written his essay was. From the looks of it already I was not impressed it was very short and didn't really have much detail. I think that William could have got into more detail about why he picked this college to go to and what inspired him. Although he didn't do so well with his essay it was brought to my attention that he had fairly high SAT scores showing that he is a very bright individual. He also took a lot of interest in clubs and activities he went to a drama club for 9th grade and was a member of the JV Soccer Team. When in the 12th grade he was the founder of the Inno-Zine (Comic Magazine about a Super Innovator) as well as a member of the Comic Book Club. In 11th grade William was a member of Film Appreciation. For all 4 years he took care of the family dog and he also worked at Fanta's Hardware as a Stock Boy 12 hours a week in 11th grade. He also has a job at AMC Movie Theater, Union Square as a Ticket Person 18 hours a week during school and 35 hours a week in the summer. He took interest in a lot of activities and had high SAT scores with a nicely written Recommendation but his essay and grades were very poor and affected him a lot.

I then reviewed Jasmine Dukes Transcript I was very impressed to see that she had very high grades and she wasn't absent and late a lot. She maintained I say at least a 80 average. I had to see what they said about her in her Recommendation. This Recommendation was very well-written and it showed that she was not only a great person inside the classroom but outside as well. They told me what was her goal and how she loved school and how she makes school her priority along with her personal life. I was impressed that I looked more into the applicant I wanted to see her essay. Her essay was kind of short and mainly about her mother. I was kind of looking for more about Jasmine Duke herself. But it did tell how her mother inspired her to push herself. Her SAT scores were kind of low and kind of surprised me because her grades in class were so high. She took interest in a lot of activities she was a member of the STEP Program all 4 years and took place in the Drama Club all 4 years she was in the Knitting with Claire Club for 11th and 12th grade. She was also in a Church Choir for 9th,10approx. 10th, and 11th grade and she was a Scripture Reader for 11th and 12th grade. She also had a job in Lawrence and Darby Jett as a babysitter for Approx. 10 hours a week in 10th grade. She also worked on a Internship at Children's Museum for Science as a Junior Tour Guide for 30 hours a week in 11th grade going into 12th.

I then reviewed Roman Polancos Transcript he had not so good grades in 9th but went up in 10th,11th and did even better in 12th grade. His attendance wasn't very good he got better in 11th and 12th grad though. I looked at his Recommendation and they told me how great of a student he was and how hard he worked.