Chelsea+Carrion+admissions+essay

As an admissions officer, I rank the TEARS: Transcripts, Essays, SATs, Recommendations, and Activities. I would rank transcripts first because they tell me how the applicant did in their classes and shows their attendance. I ranked essays second because they inform me about how a student might have overcome challenges either academically or personally to achieve success. I decided to put SATs third because its important to know how well they know the curriculum. Activites were ranked last because of the fact that its good to know what the applicants do when they're out side of school and on their free time.

One of the applicants that applied is named Kaylah Serrano. On her transcript she started off her school year having good grades, but then there was a downward trend. They started getting "okay" during 10th grade, An addition to that, she didn't do to well on her regents exams. In Kaylah’s essay, she managed to answer the overall question which is "tell me about yourself". She also managed to include a catchy hook and epiphany. In her activities, she really didn't impress me. She was only in a jamming cares club in 9th grade. Recommendations was great. It came from her college counselor. He made sure that he explained her and how she is. She didn’t do so good regarding her SATs, her weakness was in Critical Reading (CR) and Writing, but her strength was in Mathematics.

The second applicant was a guy named Roman Polanco. His transcript was impressive. He had a Jurassic upward trend, and he did better on his math tests rather than in his math classes. In his essay, it was obvious that he took time to complete it. It also answered the main question. His activities showed "depth". He was student ambassador all four years of high schools, then he became the leader of student ambassadors. His college counselor also wrote a good recommendation for Roman. He added that Roman was an active participant. Meaning he often actively participated in his classes. His college counselor also included that he was a reliable, caring student and a leader. Romans SATs were not great but they weren't horrible. He was slightly below average for Critical Reading, slightly above average for Mathematics, and slightly below average for Writing.

The third applicant that applied is William Santos. Williams transcript wasn't too impressive, he had an upward trend and he was not passing with high grades. Also, his attendance was bad. His essay was not good at all. The actual question is "Tell me about yourself" and he didn't tell us anything about him. There was no hook, no epiphany, and shows no growth. It was basically a "spaghetti sauce essay". His activity showed Breath over Depth. His recommendation from his college counselor had faint praise. His SAT scores were not perfect but they were some what above average.

The last applicant that applied was Jasmine Duke. Her transcript was not too bad. Her attendance was great and she had an upward trend in her classes. But, her essay wasn't an essay that impressed me. She definitely didn't answer the question. Instead, her essay was based on her mother. On the other hand, her activity sheet interested me. She was in the drama club from 9th through 12th grade and in 11th grade she joined the knitting club. Her recommendation from her college couseler was OK. He described how she's respectful. He also gave examples to back that up. Besides that, her SATS were not outstanding. She was slightly below average.

Based on the way that I ranked the TEARS, I would choose to Roman Polance because his transcript stood out the most. It shows that he does not give up and she keeps trying till he achieved his highest goal. That impresses me and that's what kind of student I would like to attend my university. I look forward to seening Roman here.