Neffetiti+Edwards+Admissions+Essay

As an admissions Officer i have very important steps into being a good/qualified student. I look for a Strong Transcript, a well written essay and a perfect recommendation from the teachers and /or Councilors. The next thing that i would look for is a good senior Activities sheet because i would want to know what this student does on his/her spare time, either in the summer time or while this person is in school, and the reason why i would say in school is because i know that student is a hard worker going to school and to work. The last thing that i would want to see is the S.A.T because i wouldn't really tell if a student is a good... well i would but i wouldn't tell from an S.A.T score a students personality.

In reviewing William Santos application,the first thing i saw that caught my eye was that William is not a perfect student into going to school all of the time, and i did see that his grades from 9,10,and 11 grade were low until he got into 12 grade which is very unexceptionable. I looked over his grades and he has mostly 60's and 70's when i would him to at least just have 70's 80's or 90's because i couldn't have a student that has only 60's and 65's as just passing, And at the same time i looked at his attendance and he has 33 lateness and 25 absences in 9th grade and then in the 10th he had up to 45 lateness to 23 absences and it goes from there so that tells me that he is not required to go to a good school. The thing that really caught my eye was on his tests when he got a good grade for -Living Environment:87 -Global Studies:90 -Inter graded Algebra: 89 That is what really caught my eye and i was very impressed.

I looked over his essay.......even though his essay wasn't a messy essay he still didn't reach the requirement of the essay. William didn't answer all of his required questions that were asked for this essay, he just put in what he did and how hes sorry about being absent through out the high school years, and even though i do not think hes going to make it from the attendance he still said that he was going to do better in college , but the thing that i really don't like that he put was that high school was boring. I strongly think that if a student thinks that high school is boring and that's why he didn't want to go, i would think that student if very lazy because any student would think that school is boring and i grantee every student would think that school or high school is boring so that right the is very unexceptionable for any student to say that. But the last thing he said was that if i looked at his S.A.T scores to see how well he did which means i would be impressed if i looked at his S.A.T scores, and when i did i saw that he did very well on it but the thing that i am looking at is why his grades were low but his test scores were high.

When i looked at his Activities sheet i was kind of unimpressed by the fact that he didn't stay in the drama club for a good time he only stayed in the drama club for 1 year which was 9th grade. He was a member of the JV soccer team and he only stayed there for 9th grade. and in the (inno-zine comic magazine about a super innovator) he only stayed for the 12th grade and was only a member so that means he didn't show up most days. Then he was in the comic book club for the 12 grade but was only a member and last but not least he was in a film appreciation club for the 11 grade and was still only a member. I was not impressed from the Clubs/sports/programs but the thing i was impressed with was how he stayed dedicated for taking care of house work like walking his dog and cleaning, so i know that he is a clean boy but still he needs to work on his programs and how to stay dedicated through the years if he really wants to go to a program.

In reviewing Jasmine Dukes Transcript i was very surprised by the fact that she mostly got 80's and 90's on her transcript for each year so that means for her she stayed on her 80's and 90's grade which is very great for a student. When i looked at her Lateness's i was highly impressed because she has only one lateness through all 4 years, and when i looked at her absences i was very impressed that all 4 years she got 9-2,10-3,11-4,12-3, so that for me is very wonderful because when i looked at Williams transcript he missed so many days out of his years it was like he was never there. The thing that i am not impressed about is he S.A.T scores, she only got 400's/450's. But i am guessing that she has a test anxiety so i wouldn't be that angry about that its just that she needs to work on that before college. When i looked back at her regular test scores she got Living Environment-85 Global studies-75 Inter-graded algebra-81 U.S history-81 English-73 I thought that those grades were good grades but i know she can do better its just someone will have to help her with her testing, Second when i looked at her essay she did poorly on it because she was not talking about her self, she was talking about what her mother do for her. Even though it is a good thing to know what your mother does for you she didn't say a thing about her-self and that was not what she was supposed to be talking about so she actually form a scale from 1-5 she got a 1 because she did not reach the requirement for that essay or answer any of the questions. When i looked over the (Counselor recommendation for jasmine duke) i thought that there was some positive feedback from the Counselor about jasmine duke because he/she said that jasmine is a hard working student and a consistent member of our community. He/she said that she respects her teacher-peers and she always tries her best in her assignments, and i like a student that is hard working, respectful, and always tries there best on their assignments so she will be a good student for my school but the only thing is, is that someone needs to help her with her test taking skills. The thing that i went over from the Counselors recommendation is that i know why she didn't really do well on her test is because shes part of an immigrant family so shes probably Spanish or something other than English so for me that is a little acceptable she just have to learn English if shes in america.

The last thing that i looked over was her Activities sheet and shes impressed me so much because she joined the drama club for all her 4 years and she went to the knitting club for 2 years for 11, and 12th grade. she joined church choir for 3 and scripture for 2 and then shes an employer for (Lawrence and Darby jet and her position is a baby sitter) so i think she is doing very well with her activities as well as her class grades but all she has to do is get her test scores up and she will be perfect.

Kayla Serrano's transcript was good/bad because she got 70's,80's and 90's in all her 4 years so that is good, And when i looked at her absences and lateness i thought that she did very well/excellent in all 4 years because she only had one absence in one year and i think that, that is outstanding. When i looked down at her test scores i thought she did very well but she can do better because she got a just passing grade in her English standardize test so i would like a student that would just be passing which can show me that he/she know something but i would also like a student that is a passing student not just passing so she did pretty well but i think that she can do better. When i looked at her S.A.T scores she did well but then again she can do better because she doesn't have a language problem so that means she can read in english and she know what shes doing so i think that she can still do better.

I successfully looked at Kayla's activities sheet and i think that she was just lazy through 5 years of her high-school time because she only was a member and she attended one year of (jamming cares club) and she only walked her little brother to school each morning for 2, so my thing is that she should have attended more after school programs or volunteering at some type of day care unless she had problems at home or something happen over the years that's why she couldn't go to after schools, but if anything i think that she is just lazy and didn't want to do anything for the rest of the 5 years. I also looked over her personal statement and i think that she did excellent on her essay because she talked about herself and she answered all her questions that were required for her to answer so i think that she did pretty good on her essay and also when i looked at her counselor recommendation letter i thought that the counselor talked about her in a well manner and i think that with the comments that the counselor had said for her i would be very proud to have her as a student in any school its just i would want her to get her grades up.

Last but not least i am going to tell you about Roman Polanco. When i Looked over Roman Polanco's transcript i was sort of impressed because in the first year i think that Roman did pretty well because in one class (integrated Algebra) he got a just passing grade but when i looked at all the other years beside it i thought that he did wonderfully and he can be very well accepted at any school he would like to attend. Then when i looked at his absences and Lateness's i thought that he did very well for a student that had 42 days late and 25 days absent and then 22 days late and 10 days absent, so that means that for him when he got in school after he was out he got right to work and he did not stop at all. I looked at his regular test scores and i thought that he did pretty well as i said with his grades but when i looked at his S.A.T scores i thought that he did poorly for a student that has a perfect grade in every class so i think that he should do better if he has test anxiety. When i looked at his activities sheet i thought that he did kind of well for someone that missed so many days because he was a member in a student ambassador club and he when for all 4 years and he was a lead ambassador so that i very impressive because i love leaders, then he finished his years with a soup kitchen volunteer and a central park clean up in innovation cares so that means hes a clean person. The first to the last thing that i looked over his personal response and i thought that it was a perfect essay and it had a wonderful hook to it that made me read more and so when i did i loved his essay and i think that he did very well with it and when i looked at his counselors recommendation sheet i thought that the counselor spoke about him very well and i think as well as the counselor thinks that this student is a good student/ perfect student.

In conclusion i feel that all these students did very well but i pick Roman Polanco first because he did very well and he had no excuses for why he was out and then when he cam back i guess he got right to work on his project or anything in particular. So after comparing all of the candidates i think that Roman Polanco did excellent on his transcript, essay,activities,recommendation,and last but not least the S.A.T's and he did very well completing the T.E.A.R.S project so i think he did the best out of every student i have looked over. Even though Roman had a downward trend in his first year he brought his grades back up and i think that is very good for a student who missed so many days out of his first year. When looking at jasmine i though that she did well it was just she did not complete what she needed to complete out of her years for activities.