Christopher+Anastacio+Admissions+Essay

As an admission officer,I am clear of what is very important to me in a students application. I look for a strong transcript and a decent essay and a interesting recommendation letter. I would like students who would do a decent amount of activities but are loyal to them. I do not put a lot of stress on the SATs because I do not think SATs show how a student does in the all 4 years of high school and do not tell me how the students act.

When I received and review Roman Polanco’s application I was not that interested because his first two years were not that good; he received mostly 60s and 70s, but his junior ans senior year he had a upward trend and that impressed me. The other thing I notice is that his attendance was bad the first two years and then junior and senior year his attendance had improved.

Roman’s essay was interesting and excellent. He had a decent hook and the beginning of the story was interesting. It was very interesting that it felt like I was standing next to him at the Breast Cancer Awareness walk.He had an good hook and obvious epiphany. Lastly, his spelling and grammar were perfect. His recommendation letter had stated he was a strong leader and a valued moment of the Innovation community. Additional, he also takes full advantages of opportunities offered to him. He is one of the most reliable students at the school and their is no praise in it.

Roman had joined the student ambassadors for all four years of high school and soon became the lead ambassador. He did not commit to the other programs as much but he had showed leadership towards the student ambassadors and also he had worked at Juilo Franco’s El Ricon Restaurant and Taco Shop as a busboy, cashier, and waiter. Lastly, his SAT scores were slightly below average in all three sections but he can improve on them, but I would not put to much on the SATs.

When reviewing William Santo’s transcript I was very disappointed with it. His grades throughout all four years were mostly 60s and 70s and he had sightly had an upward trend in his senior year. His attendance was terrible, but his regent scores are good. His essay was just awful because it did not even tell me anything about himself. Additional, his essay had no hook and not epiphany, but his spelling and grammar were good.

William’s recommendation letter had a lot of “faint praise” to it and was not telling how he acts in class or what are his strengths and weaknesses. William was not loyal to to his activities, but he was the founder of the Inno-zone (comic magazine about a super innovator). He walked his dog for all four years and also had worked at Fanta’s Hardware has a stock boy and worked at the AMC Movie Theater, Union Square as a ticket salesperson. His SAT scores were above average in all three sections which surprised me.

While reading Jasmine Dukes application I was very impressed of how throughout all four years her grades were mostly 80s and 90s. Her attendance was not a problem to me but I was a little disappointed with her regent scores. I also notice she did not take any challenging classes. Her essay very disappointing to me because her whole essay was about her mom and not about her self. Also it is short and had no hook or epiphany.

Jasmine’s had impressed me with some of her activities; she had been in the STEP program and the Drama club for all four years. She had also worked at Lawrence and Darby Jett as a babysitter and worked at a Intership, Children’s Museum for Science as a junior tour guide. Her recommendation letter had told me a lot about Jasmine Duke. First, she was well-liked and respected by her teachers and peers. Also she was particularly strong in math and science and wanted to become a doctor when she grows up. Additional, tells me she is a hard worker and she has the ability to juggle her personal life along side everything she is involved in.

Jasmine’s SAT scores were below average in all three sections and she had took it twice but was still below average. If she keeps working hard I think she could get a higher grade for her SATs.

Reading Kaylah Serrano’s application her transcript was average and she had mostly 70s and a few 90s. She was stronger in math and Spanish and her attendance was excellent for all four years. She had also took honors and college level classes of those two subjects. Her essay was very interesting and now I know why she was stronger in math and Spanish; she had come from a different country and had spoken little English. She had a good hook and a epiphany and she only had one spelling error at the beginning but I will not put to much stress on it because she took her time with the essay.

I was disappointed with her lack of activities because she was not showing loyalty to the Jamming club. She walked her brother to school from freshmen to sophomore year and had also worked at Dunkin Donuts at senior year. Reading her recommendation letter had interested me. For example, even though she hardly knew English she still continue to work hard. Additional, she had challenged herself whenever she had the chance and she was always determined to pass. Her SAT scores were disappointing since she had below average in critical reading and writing and she was slightly above average in math.

I think out of all the candidates I think Kaylah Serrano is the strongest candidate.The reason why is because even though she did not know English that well she kept working hard and was always determined to pass and she had took honors and college level classes. Also her essay was a little to long but was interesting and had told me thing about that I did not know. Lastly, her recommendation letter had made me more interested because it stated she a excellent student and had worked hard in school and to support he family.