Yengere+Luciano+admissions+essay

Yengere Luciano Feb 7, 2012

As an admissions officer I would rank Transcripts 1st because the transcripts show me what kind of student he/she is from freshman year to senior year. I would rank the recommendations 2nd because in the recommendations I get a teachers point of view of the student. I also would rank the essays 3rd because I get to know more about the student and a little auto biography about themselves. Also I like to see if the students can persuade me to allow them to attend this college. I would rank the S.A.Ts 4th because I dont think the SATs are important because I like to see what a student did in all 4 years than what they did in only one test. Lastly I would rank activities last because to me it doesnt matter what you do out of school its what you do in school that counts. Also many people don't do many activities and do really well in school academically and thats what I like to see in a student.

After reviewing Roman Polanco's application I saw an upward trend in his grades from freshman year to senior year and I like that in a student. I also see that in his SATs in critical reading he got below average and in writing he also got below average. I also saw that he got slightly above average in math.His attendance was poor he had a lot of lateness on freshman year and it got better from freshman year to senior year. Romans essay was perfect it had everything I'am looking for in a essay. It had a epiphany and it had a hook and its not a spaghetti sauce essay which means that he didn't rush to finish and it had very good spelling and grammar. In his recommendation the teacher had a lot to say about Roman and him being a leader and I like to have leaders in my college. Roman was invovled in alot of activities like student ambassadors he was a student ambassador for all four years and became a leader the last year. He also had a job since 10th grade which he still got now and that shows responsibilty.

After reviewing William santos's application I saw that he had an upward trend in his grades. I also saw that he had a lot of lateness's and they have gotten worse and that's not good. I saw that on his SATs he had above average in all of the subjects in his SATs and that's good in a student. In William's essay he does not answer the real question that is asked in the essay. There is no hook, no epiphany, and his essay doesn't show me anything but he's lazy. William didn't get involved in many activities but he was the founder of Inno-zine and he had two jobs but got fired at Fanta's Hardware and then started working at AMC movie theater and he's still working at the movie theater. The teacher really didn't have much to say about William.

In Jasmine Duke's application I saw that on her transcript she had very good grades from freshman year to senior year and that's very good in my opinion as an admissions officer. I also saw that she didn't have many lateness and absences throughout all four years of college and that shows me that she really cares about going to school and learning. The essay didn't answer the real question, it also wasn't about her it was about her mother. The essay also didn't have a hook or an epiphany, All she did was talk about her mother as if her mom is signing up to this college. Looking at the activities and I see that she was in a step club but didn't become the leader or the captain of the squad but she was there for all four years of high school. Also I see that jasmine had a job as a babysitter at 10th grade and got fired or quit in January. Then I see that she had gotten another job as a junior tour guide and she got that from the summer when she got it the summer when she was going to 12th grade.

After reviewing Kayla Serrano's application I saw that she had good grades throughout all 4 years of high school and English was her weakest class. I also see that she had perfect attendance and only one absence in 11th grade and that show's me that she really cares about school and that's a good thing in a student besides grades. I also see that she she didn't really join any clubs she only did jamming cares for one year, she had a job at dunkin donuts as the counter server for 20hrs a week from 12th grade to present day. Kayla's essay was good she had an epiphany and a hook also very good spelling and grammar it also explains why her english grades and SAT scores were low. But she had to much words and I only asked for 500 in that essay. Kayla's recommendation was very good and the teacher had a lot to say about her and she also explains where her grades and SAT scores were like that. Kayla's SAT scores were below average on everything except math and that means that math is her strongest subject.

The student I choose is Kayla because even though some of her grades and her SAT scores where bad her essay told me a lot about her and why her grades were like that. .