Karen+Li+admissions+essay

Hi, my name is Karen Li. I am an admissions officer of East Harlem University college. There are four people that is applying to my college. I will have to use the TEARS strategy to guide me pick one of the candidates. Candidates are hard to pick because they all have different strengths in different categories. For example William Santos has a better SAT score than Jasmine Duke but Jasmine duke has a better transcript than William Santos. The most important category for me is the transcript because the grades you get from the teachers are the grades they give you and how you do in class. Also the attendance is most important because if you don't come to class and participate in class activities how would you know what's going on in class. The second most important thing i check in the TEARS is the recommendations because the teachers tells me how the student behaves in class and how she or he strengths and weakness. Also it may tell us something we don't know about the components. The third most important is the Essay because it tells us about how he or she has changed and has an epiphany and how it changed his or her grades. The fourth most important is the activities because i don't really care about the SAT's it is biased. The activities also tells us how he or she takes his/her responsibility seriously.

The first candidate is Roman Polanco. Looking at Roman Polanco's application, he started off from the 60's and 70's but then there was an upward trend to the 80's and 90's by 12th grade. His greatest strength is Spanish and one of his biggest weakness is math and science. In his freshman year he had lots of lateness and absence but then as he reached to 12th grade he has decreased his absences and lateness. His regents scores are in the 80's. Roman's recommendation's tells me that he's a late bloomer, trustworthy, and is a leader. He is one of the most reliable students at the school and model for students. You can also tell that he's a leader from his activities. He has been a student ambassadors for 4 years, that's a good thing because he can stay in that activity more than one year and stick to it. Roman's essay tells us about his epiphany about how he didn't quit promoting the breast cancer awareness walk. He thought nobody would come but 50 people had came. It tells him that he should not quit and be a leader. He has a low SAT score but it's okay because i don't think SAT's are the most important thing in the TEARS category.

The second candidate is William Santos. Looking at William Santos's application, his grades were almost like Roman's but had lots of absences and lateness especially in the 12th grade. His greatest weakness is science and global. He has a lot of 65's in his transcript. William Santos's essay has no epiphany and only about one paragraph long. He did not put any effort into his essay. His essay doesn't have a hook. On a scale of 1-10 i would rate his essay a big fat zero. William Santos did his home activities for four years that shows he has a little bit of responsibility taking care of family dog. William's recommendation tells us that he is destined for success at a college level and has excellent SAT scores. I don't think i will accept William Santos to my school because the SAT are not as important than transcripts to me.

The next candidate is Jasmine Duke. Looking at Jasmine Duke's application, her grades are in the 80's and 90's. She's weak in English but strong in science. Throughout the whole year she has been late one time and 12 absences. She also has 70's and 80's in the regents. Her recommendations say that she came from an immigrant family and she is hard working and consistent member of community. She wants to be a doctor so she has a bright future ahead of her and knows her goals. Her essay has a good hook but is about her mother not her, so that's not answering the real question. It doesn't show epiphany but has perfect grammar and spelling. She has been in a drama club for 4years(which i like), knitting club for 2 years, and community/home activities for 2 years. She has low SAT scores, in the 400's.

The last candidate we have here is Kaylah Serano. Her grades are in the 70's and 90's. But has been absent one time throughout the whole 4 high school years. Which means she is focusing on her classes and wants to do well. her regents scores are from a 67-90. The highest was integrated algebra and the lowest was Living environment. Her essay shows epiphany and how she made friends throughout high school year and thought that it was hard to make friends because she's a shy person. She haven't done much activities. She was in jamming cares club in 9th grade for one year and community/home activities for 2 years in 9th and 10th grade. Her recommendations tells us that she is destined for success at the college level and challenges herself by taking high level courses, which is a good thing because if she challenges herself that means she is committing to do what she needs to do. Her SAT's we're in the 400's and 500's and also decreased over time.

The candidate i would pick is Roman Polanco. I would pick him because she is hard working and i would give him a chance to go to college with that much hard working. He has an upward trend in his transcript and his lateness and absences have decreased over time which i like. His regents are in the 80's not so bad not too good. Also he has been in an activity for 4 years which shows he can be a leader (Depth over breadth). I also like his essay, there is an epiphany to be a leader to help promote the breast cancer awareness walk. He thought nobody would come but 50 people came and it shows that he should not give up hope. I also like is recommendations because its telling me that he is a strong leader and valued member of the innovation community and is a late bloomer.