Tia+Haynes+Admission+Essay

As a admission officer, i feel that its very important to have good working students who want to successed in life and finish school to go to my school. I look for a strong Transcript, a well-written essay that answers the question, being involved in activities that the student is into and a very impressive recommendation letter. All these things are the most important and having them can show much of a good student you were. SAT scores is a test you need to take but its not very important to me. Someone can have testing anxiety and fail, But that doesn't mean their a bad student. I think the SAT's are bias, the way the questions are asked is for a certain kind of kids. Also because one test is not going to change my mind on how someone did if they were doing a good job for the past 4 years.

While i was reviewing William Santos's application I've notice his transcript would rank a average grade. He has a upward trend from 9-12 grade. He had poor attendance and lateness, Which is bad. He also had no challenging classes which wasn't so good. But he did have very excellent SAT scores which was above average. Critical Reading: 600 Math: 620 Writing:650. The essay written by William was not so good. It did answer the question but it was only a little paragraph that didn't say much about him. Also it didnt have a hook to caught the readers attention and no epiphany many other things. He had a good start but he should of but more into it. The essay was a "spaghetti sauce essay" it just was put together. You can tell he didnt take his time. A well-written essay should take about 3 months to write it seem to me like he 15 minutes.

Even though he didn't do to good with his essay he was do a couple of activities. In 9th grade he was in the "Drama Club" and was member of the Junior Varsity Soccer Team. He was also member of the Film Appreciation in 11th grade. Senior year he was member of the Comic Book club and also became founder of a Inno-Zone Club. Which was great this school loves leaders that will take lead on starting a program. From 9-12 he has help take care of his dog, by feed,waking and cleaning up after it. For working experience he has worked at Fanta's Hardware in 11th grade and worked for 12 hours. 12 grade he worked at the AMC Movie Theater, Union Square. His position was ticket salesperson, 18 hours a week during school and 35 hours during the summer. Even though he didn't stay on to one task during the 4 years he was into alot of activities. Williams recommendation letter was "Faint Prasie" it mainly said just something nice about him that would try to boost it up for him to sound good, it didn't really say much about him or how he knows him. It didnt even good go examples. He Didnt really impress me.

Next Jasmine Duke, She has excellent grades, i was really impressed. She passed every class and had all 80's and 90's. She obiviously is very serious about her work and puts alot of effort into it. With the impressive grades on her transcript if she was offer she should of taken some advance classes. She seems like a very bright entellegent girl. During the 4 years in high school Jasmine has been into a couple of activities. 9-12 grade she has been a member of the drama club and member of STEP Program. Also in 11-12 grade she was in the Knitting club. All of these are really good programs to join. Some comunity/home activities that she has done is join the church choir 9-12 and also become scripture reader from 11-12 grade. As for working experience in 10 grade she was a babysitter for Lawerance and Darby Jett approxametly 10 hours a week. Aslo in 11th going into 12 grade during the summer she was working an internship at "The Childrens Museum For Science" for 30 hours a week.

Even though Jasmine's grades were good she didn't do to go on her SAT's. Since she has good grade she probly just was nervous while taking the test. CR: 400 M:520 W:450. Jasmine's Essay was surprising horrible, it did have a hook to it but it did not answer the question. That whole essay was about her mother and what her mother does. She telling me more about what she wants to be instead of what or who she is, I learned more about her mother then I did her. Also i think she didn't take much time writing the essay, It was a Spehgetti Sauce essay, It really disappointed me. Jasmine's recommendation letter was very good. Her college counselor gave really good examples about her and what she did for me to know what kind of student she was. It also said that she was very respectful.

While i was looking at Kaylah Serrano's application i was really impressed. She has excellent attendance and has pretty good grades. Global, English, Science, are her weakness. Spanish and math were her more stronger subjects. Kaylah's essay was excellent, it really gave me a good way of getting to knowing her. It had a hook, epiphany, and specific examples. She told me in her essay that she was Spanish and was really good with English, that's why when i looked over her transcript a second time i notice the reason why she wasn't so strong with those 3 subjects.

Kaylah wasn't really into activities and different after school programs. In 9th grade she was in Jamming Cares Club, and walked her little sibling to school in 10th and 9th grade its really not that exciting to me. She also worked at Dunkin' Donuts in 12th grade 20 hours. Her Recommendation letter was "Faint Praise".He let us know that in Critical Reading grades in math and Spanish were excellent. Also her SAT's were low, CR: 400 M:520 W:450. Not so good.

Roman Polanco was a average student did bad in the begining and made his way up (Upward Trend). In 9th grade his attendance wasn't really good. He did pass everything but the grades weren't that good. His essay did answer the question. It did have a hook. Very good grammar but no so perfect. He was member of the debate club.

I pick Jasmine she had very good grades