Shaila+Vaden+Comparative+Essay

__** Comparative Essay **__

Hello. I'm Shaila Vaden, admissions officer for Yale University. I am very determined to find a new student for Yale. The student must have very good Transcript with a well-written essay and a Recommendation that tell us even more about the student. Then i would look at their activities to see what they will do and how they might contribute to school sports or/and clubs. Lastly i would look at the SAT's scores because SAT scores won't tell me how good the person will be in my school for four years.

__**ROMAN POLANCO**__ While looking at Roman Polanco's application the first thing i looked at was his grades, and for two years in high school his grades where in the 70's until junior and senior year when he had an upward trend and got mostly 80's-90's. This makes sense since he didn't have a good attendance record in his first two years of high school. Roman's Essay was strong. He had a strong hook that made the essay wonderful and made me want to know more. He answered the question, it was all about HIM. He had correct spelling/grammar, he also had the moment of realization showing he could be a leader. His recommendation letter told us how he was a very wonderful student and tells us about his strengths and weaknesses. Roman was in the student ambassadors for four years, showing he could commit to one program. He also became the leader of this club too and being a leader is a very important characteristic to me.He also had four of the elite eight program/clubs. Roman's SAT's scores were below average but just slightly in all sections but did better in math. He could have done better But he did good in the math section.

__**KAYLAH SERRANO**__ While looking at Kaylah Serrano's application the first thing i realized was that her strengths were Spanish and Math. Her grades where highly average but very strong.She also took honors and college level classes in her senior year for Spanish and math, she also had very had good regents scores but her lowest was Living Environment and English. Kaylah's Essay was Wonderful. The essay explains to us why some grades on her transcript wasn't good because she was from a different country and had to help take care her family financial problems and it wasn't rushed.Her recommendation gives a strong praise and tell us how she has challenged herself even if she was struggling in certain areas. I was very confused by her activity sheet because in her recommendation it says she help her family but she only started working in 12Th grade. How was she helping her family the other years? and she had three of the elite eight programs/club. Her SAT's scores weren't what i would've guessed she would get if i only looked at her transcript but after her essay and recommendation told us more about how, i understand them now.She did very well on the math section and struggled with the writing and critical reading.

__**JASMINE DUKE**__ Looking at Jasmine Duke's transcript. I was impressed by how high her grades were for all four years of high school. She also had good attendance. Seeing that her grades were so high, i would have liked to see her in honors or college leveled classes. Her regent scores were almost average. Her essay was disappointing.She only talked about her mom and never talked about her.It looks like it was rushed and if her mom was applying to my college i would except her, not jasmine. I liked seeing that she stayed with the STEPS program and Drama club for all four years of high school.It shows that she is very loyal to these two programs.She had nine of the elite eight programs/clubs. I didn't like her SAT's scores, they were very low which was confusing because she has such high grades in her classes.

__**WILLIAM SANTOS**__ William Santos's Transcript was really confusing because he got an average grade of a 65 in his classes but scored high on his regents. His attendance/lateness was very bad.He didn't take any challenging or honor classes. His essay was a spaghetti sauce essay and was less than 500 words. It also didn't have a hook or a epiphany. His recommendation didn't seem real, it kept on giving faint praise and was only three paragraphs. It also doesn't tell us anything about him His activities weren't impressive because it shows that he can't commit to one program/club.He had three of the elite eight program/clubs. He had lots of breadth instead of Depth. His SAT's were above average. He has 600-650 as scores.

In the end i would choose Kaylah Serrano because she challenges herself in every way, even if she is struggling. She had a strong essay and Recommendation. Even though she didn't have many activities but she still looks like she will work hard to join programs here. Even though her SAT's scores weren't that good, they don't really matter. She is a student i would welcome into my college.