Comparative Essay

As an admission officer what I like to see on a student application is a upward trend on the transcript and high grades towards Junior and Senior year. I look for a strong essay that makes me want to know more about the applicant. Next I look at the applicants activities and ask myself "What has this person been doing the last four years after school or on their free time?" I like to see a person that is committed to a certain club and/or be a founder or a leader and I also like to see that person have a job. I also look for good recommendations that are not faint praise. I want to see how this person is as a student in a classroom, what things they say about the student, and the challenges they overcome. Finally I look at the SAT's scores but to me I don't really care about the SAT's because the grades they get all four years of high School is worth more than one test.

Roman Polanco's transcript was great because I saw a upward trend. His grades weren't so great in Freshman and in Sophomore year, but as he started to get closer to senior year his grades started to go up. By the time Roman Polanco hit senior year his grades were high. His regents scores were good, there were in the low to mid 80's. His activities were great, it shows that he is committed to a club and on top of that he was a student ambassador. To me this shows that he is a leader and a trustworthy person. I also see that Roman has a job. This also shows me that he can balance school and work, and that he is a responsible person.

Roman's essay was great, when I started to read, it made me want to read more. It also talks about how he thought that no one was going to go to his breast cancer awareness walk, but then fifty people came even though it was raining. Roman's essay show's me that he actually took the time to write his essay because it has zero mistakes and perfect grammar. It also has a lot of details and specific examples. Roman's recommendation letter was great. As soon as read the letter, it explained why his grades were low in freshman and Sophomore year. It said that Roman is a late bloomer. The recommendation letter gives Roman genuine praise. It also says that Roman actively contributes to the class and that he has a good relationship with other students and the staff at innovation. Roman's SAT's scores were a little disappointing because they were just below average. His score in Math was the only one that was just above average, but his scores in Critical Reading, and Writing were just below average by 10 to 20 points. Even though I think the SAT's are biased, I still think Roman could of got a 500+ on all 3 sections. Overall I think that Roman did good on his student application.

William Santos transcript shows me that he hasn't been attending school as much as he should. His absences and lateness's got worse as the years went by. His grades in his Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior year were just barley passing. But in senior year his grades were the highest. His Regent exams scores were very high. They were in the high 80's and low 90's. This shows me that he is a good Test taker. In his activities I saw that he moved from one club to another. He didn't join any club in 10th grade, but he founded his own club in senior year. This shows me that he was a leader. At home he walked the dog and feed him all 4 years. William also had 2 jobs. One as a stock boy and the other as a Ticket Salesperson in a Movie theater.

William's essay was horrible to me. It didn't answer the real question and it had no hook. I didn't even want to read it after the first sentence. It just says how boring High School is and that he is not challenged at all. His recommendation letter was like a joke to me. It just says what we already know and to me that sounds like faint praise. The letter doesn't talk about how William is as a student or the challenges he overcame. Finally William's SAT's score's were above average. He scored a 600 in critical reading, a 620 in math, and a 650 in writing. Overall William did okay on his student application.

Jasmine's Duke's transcript shows me that she is a excellent student because she comes to school 98% of the time. She was absent only 12 times during all 4 years and she was late only 1 time. She has also maintained 80's and 90's all four years and that's hard to do. Her Regent score's were average. She had high 70's to low 80's. In her activities, not only was she committed to one club but to 2 clubs. She went to a STEP club and a Drama club. In Junior year she decided to start knitting. In her other activities I see that she was a church choir for all 4 years of high school. I also see that she had 2 jobs. One as a babysitter when she was in Sophomore year and another as a tour guide in the summer of 11th grade when she was moving up to 12th grade. When I saw and read her essay I was very disappointed. She didn't answer the real question and it doesn't say how she grew, but at least it had a hook. Her essay talks about her mom and how she is a hard worker to support her family, If she was applying I think she would be a good candidate.

Jasmine's recommendation letter was great. It talks about her taking a Science and Technology course at Baruch college and that she takes enrichment classes on Saturday to improve her Math and Science skills. The letter talks about how her mother takes care of Jasmine and her brother, and how she is faced with the challenge of which activities she can take part in because of her Economic availability. She uses these challenges to motivate her so she can continue her hard work. The letter gives Jasmine Genuine praise. Her SAT's scores were below average. She took the SAT's twice. She got a 430 in Critical Reading, a 470 in Math, and a 410 in Writing. I think she could have gotten a higher score but as I said before I don't really care about the SAT's because there biased.

Kayla's Serrano's transcript was great, she had only 1 absence and zero lateness's during all four years of High School. This show's me that she is a reliable student. She took 3 advanced classes, an intensive Math class, an Honor's Spanish class, and a College level class at Hunter College. Her Regents scores were okay, even though there were a few 60's and 70's. She got high 80's and high 90's in 2 Math Regents Exams. Her Essay was excellent, it talks about her making the hard decision about her deciding to either stay or go back to homeland of Nicaragua. It also talks about her experience in High School and how there was a Language barrier and that she was learning English. Then it says that she needed to get a job to help support her family after her aunt got fired. As soon as I read the first paragraph I was so interested to read more about her experience in High School and the challenges she had to face. It was like I was there when it happened. This essay told me allot that I wouldn't know from her transcript. When I looked at her activities I was a little Disappointed because she only had a few activities. She joined the jamming cares club in freshman year and walks her brother to school every morning. But I understand that she had to work to support her family, but she didn't do anything after school during Sophomore or Junior year. I understand that she had a language barrier and I bet that she was practicing her English after school instead of joining a club. Even though she wasn't a leader or founded any clubs, she at least did something.

Kayla's recommendation letter was great. it says how Kayla challenges herself by taking challenging classes even though she speaks a little English. It also talks about how she is comfortable in Math and in Spanish. It also talks about how she is a hard worker and that she works 25 hours a week to support her family. This letter gives Kayla genuine praise. Lastly her SAT's scores were below average. The only section that was slightly above average was Math. She also took the test twice, the second time she got a 390 in Critical Reading, a 510 in Math, and a 410 in Writing. Personally I think that she could have done a little better but I understand that she has problems with her English and that's why she got a lower score in Critical Reading and Writing. Overall I think she's a great candidate.

Now the person that I choose to go to my College is Kayla Serrano. I choose her because in her transcript I saw that see really challenged herself by taking 3 advanced classes. She took an advanced math class, a honors Spanish class, and a college level class at hunter college. I also saw that see was only absent 1 time and she was never late during all four years of high school. This shows me that she will be in class everyday ready to learn. Also her essay was great even though it was kinda long, but I just wanted to keep reading even more. Her recommendation letter gave her allot of genuine praise. The letter shows me that she is a fantastic student and how Kayla is a hard worker and that she never complains that she works 25 hours a week to support her family. With all this and her determination, hard work, and motivation I would welcome her into my College.